The theory of "Cool"

Today, I had an interesting conversation with the highly acclaimed Dr. Badgerz Badgington Sr., with a PhD in coolness. This is a first of many interviews on theories with many other signifigant individuals. This is... the theory of "Cool".

*Me & Mr. Badgington discussing a suitable name for a Staraptor*

l0renz03 (10:41:39 PM): Well, how bout MEFUCKBIRD
badgerz (10:41:46 PM): Well.
badgerz (10:41:49 PM): you see..
badgerz (10:42:07 PM): while MEFUCKBIRD seems cool
badgerz (10:42:16 PM): MEFUKBIRD is much cooler
l0renz03 (10:42:23 PM): Oh is it?
l0renz03 (10:42:26 PM): Please explain
badgerz (10:42:30 PM): Well you see
badgerz (10:42:42 PM): FUK is very cool
badgerz (10:42:45 PM): because
badgerz (10:42:54 PM): when I say it
badgerz (10:43:08 PM): you know I'm cursing
badgerz (10:43:16 PM): but I misspell it
badgerz (10:43:30 PM): because while cursing is cool
badgerz (10:43:33 PM): it's also not cool at all
badgerz (10:44:21 PM): Excuse me, I assume you'll need my picture for your article?
l0renz03 (10:44:33 PM): Oh, no need to worry about that sir.
badgerz (10:44:39 PM): Oh?
l0renz03 (10:44:46 PM): I took a picture of your genitals
l0renz03 (10:45:15 PM): It'll attract an audience large enough for your enjoyment.
l0renz03 (10:45:25 PM): Espeicially the female audience.
badgerz (10:45:39 PM): Ah, I assume you had to decrease the size of the picture to fit the page/
l0renz03 (10:46:05 PM): Not at all, I got a poster-sized piece of paper for the picture.
badgerz (10:46:22 PM): Ah, that is acceptable.
badgerz (10:46:26 PM): BUT
badgerz (10:46:32 PM): Back to the theory
l0renz03 (10:46:37 PM): Ah, indeed.
badgerz (10:46:40 PM): CAPS IS ALSO VERY COOL
l0renz03 (10:46:48 PM): OH REALLY?
badgerz (10:46:51 PM): YES
l0renz03 (10:46:53 PM): PLEASE EXPLAIN
badgerz (10:47:08 PM): IT SHOWS HOW COOL I AM
l0renz03 (10:47:16 PM): IT DOES INDEED
badgerz (10:47:16 PM): BECAUSE
badgerz (10:47:46 PM): IT SHOWS MY DOMINENCE OVER THE COOLY-CHALLENGED
badgerz (10:48:03 PM): AS ALL MY LETTERS ARE CAPITOLS
badgerz (10:48:19 PM): INSTEAD OF MOSTLY BEING LOWERCASE
l0renz03 (10:48:31 PM): Ah, and can you show me a valid example of a cooly-challenged individual being confromted by this situation?
badgerz (10:48:43 PM): CERTAINLY
badgerz (10:49:06 PM): TAKE FOR EXAMPLE, THESE 2 INDIVIDUALS
badgerz (10:49:29 PM): INDIVIDUAL 1: CHAD DOUCHEMUFFIN
badgerz (10:50:02 PM): HE'S WEARING A PINK ABERCROMBIE SHIRT WITH THE COLLAR UP
badgerz (10:50:23 PM): COMPLIMENTED BY A HAT TILTED SIDEWAYS
badgerz (10:50:31 PM): ALSO, HIS NAME IS CHAD
badgerz (10:51:15 PM): INDIVIDUAL 2: EUGENE ROPPLEHEIMER
badgerz (10:52:03 PM): HE USES ALL LOWERCASE LETTERS IN HIS SENTENCES
badgerz (10:52:15 PM): LET'S SEE HOW A CONVERSATION WOULD PLAY OUT
l0renz03 (10:52:23 PM): Alright then.
badgerz (10:52:32 PM): CHAD: MAN, LINKIN PARK IS SO FUKIN AWESOME
badgerz (10:52:50 PM): EUGENE: No, go FU*K yourself
badgerz (10:53:03 PM): CHAD: IT'S FUK YOU DUMBFUK
badgerz (10:53:35 PM): Who was the cooler individual in this situation?
l0renz03 (10:53:57 PM): Well, to me, it seemed as if Chad was the cooler individual.
badgerz (10:54:06 PM): YES
badgerz (10:54:09 PM): IT IS CHAD
badgerz (10:54:20 PM): ALLOW ME TO PINPOINT THE REASONS
badgerz (10:54:41 PM): CHAD BEGINS WITH AN AMAZING CAPS-FUK COMBO
badgerz (10:54:49 PM): COMBINED WITH A VERY COOL TASTE IN MUSIC
badgerz (10:55:18 PM): WHILE EUGENE USES MAINLY LOWERCASE LETTERS
badgerz (10:55:26 PM): AND CORRECTLY SPELLS FUK
badgerz (10:56:13 PM): IT'S VERY INTERESTING THEORY
badgerz (10:56:20 PM): AND THE FIELD IS ALWAYS CHANGING
l0renz03 (10:56:44 PM): Yes, yes indeed.
l0renz03 (10:57:38 PM): So, this is your point of view on the theory of cool?
badgerz (10:57:46 PM): Well.
badgerz (10:57:56 PM): Yes, I would say so.
l0renz03 (10:58:15 PM): Hm, any last words for our audience?
badgerz (10:59:10 PM): No.
badgerz (10:59:14 PM): Because frankly
badgerz (10:59:20 PM): Last words are very uncool.
badgerz (10:59:35 PM): Unlike Che Guevara shirts,
l0renz03 (10:59:38 PM): Ah, alright then.
badgerz (10:59:40 PM): which are very cool
l0renz03 (10:59:46 PM): Agreed.
l0renz03 (11:00:06 PM): Well, this is Dante Lorenzo, and i'm signing out,
l0renz03 (11:00:14 PM): Thank you america.
l0renz03 (11:00:24 PM): (And any other country.)
badgerz (11:00:25 PM): And stay cool.
l0renz03 (11:00:30 PM): Yes, stay cool.
badgerz (11:00:37 PM): Although not as cool as me.
badgerz (11:00:46 PM): Because that would be impossible


Wise words from a wise individual indeed. as mentioned before, this is one of many interviews that are soon to come. Please tune in again soon.

Lorenzo, I daresay that individual you interviewed really seems to know what he's talking about.

I agree to the utmost

hmm very wise words from Dr. Badgerz, i should write this down

I say unlike the guy from Kiss who is so called Dr Love and i havent seen a PhD with him i say Dr. Badgerz Badgington Sr., with a PhD in coolness has wise words and still will never find the cure for Cool Kids Syndrome since its too epic to be healed or banished